Silent Before God

I had the most intimate experience with God this weekend. I imagined myself coming before God, and He is completely silent. I enter into His presence and am silent. The most intimate time I can imagine is when two people can be together and be in that silence. That comfortable silence where no one needs to say a word. The music comes on, and I imagine God and I. We’re just listening to the song sitting together in silence.

From that experience, an incredible joy and peace filled my body. I felt no insecurities. Can you imagine what it would be like to feel no insecurities? For all anxiety and depression to be completely lifted? I realized that in that moment that I was alone and not depressed. I’d been struggling with chronic depression since the divorce was finalized in 2023. I’d just learn to live with a low-level of depression and normalized it. It became my baseline. And now to experience a new baseline. An elevated baseline where there was no depression. 

As I continue on my day, God reminds me of his presence throughout the day. As I drive to my next destination, the passenger’s side seat is empty. I look over and know that Jesus is there. I reach my hand over to the other side as if to grab someone’s hand. I’m driving while holding God’s hand. Another intimate breakthrough experience.

I’ve been starting with this same practice for the past couple of days now. I wake up. God and I come into each other’s presence. We are silent and listen to this song. 

I hope you are encouraged hearing about my now daily practice. Keep in my mind that there is an intimacy in the silence of God.

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”

Psalms 90:14 NIV